


Artist In Your Own Mind

by shroomas



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gay Sex, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-22 20:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6093598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shroomas/pseuds/shroomas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ernst had always been called the "cute one". No matter where he was, what he did, who he was with. He was always the cute sibling, the cute date to prom, the cute gay best friend, the cute kid. Even at the age of eighteen, at university, he was called cute. And, truth be told, he hated it. He hated it until he appeared. He being the icy, blonde boy from the other side of Campus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! This is my first AO3 fanfic so please forgive me if its bad! Reviews are graciously accepted. Many thanks to my amazing Beta tumblr user @Taco-belle-of-the-ball for double checking!
> 
> Things that are signed are in italics, I'm following the Deaf west cast for the deaf characters.

Ernst had always been called the "cute one". No matter where he was, what he did, who he was with. He was always the cute sibling, the cute date to prom, the cute gay best friend, the cute kid. Even at the age of eighteen, at university, he was called cute. And, truth be told, he hated it. He hated it until he appeared.

It was about six months into his art course, they had been through what Ernst thought was every single form of art there was, making every type look easy, as he did with any paintbrush and canvas. His professor came into the classroom followed by a few other students whom had "volunteered" for the day or something - the boy wasn’t watching her lips but getting his supplies ready.  
"I’ve assigned each of you into pairs where you will be painting one of these lovely people," she gestured towards the small cluster of people stood to her left before grouping people into pairs and assigning them each a student.  
"Oh? Ernst? I was wondering if you could work alone. You seem to do better when you do." Ernst just smiled - he did like it because it meant he didn’t have to concentrate on their lips to understand them.  
"I’ve assigned you number 6, if that’s okay?" He smiled and nodded, waiting for her to move before peering into the crowd of students. Number six...  
"I’ve think you’re looking for me?" Ernst only just caught the sound, whirling round to almost embrace the boy behind him. He jumped back in pure shock.  
"Oh, yeah. Number 6?"  
His eyes wandered along the other boys chest and up to his face, meeting the piercing blue eyes that stared down at him. That was a mistake. He was transfixed...locked...trapped in these icy eyes that somehow read into his soul and caressed his heart in the same instance. The boy cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow.  
"Shouldn’t you be painting me?" Ernst snapped out of his trance quickly, coughing into his hand to turn away, to buy him a few precious seconds of modesty. He almost flew to his easel, positioning the chair for the other to rest on and directing him to sit on it, with his chest against the wooden frame at the back.  
“I’m...so sorry! I didn’t catch your name."

"That’s because," the boy reached forward to look at Ernst’s University ID dangling around his neck.  
"Ernst Robel, I did not give it to you. Or you didn’t ask. Both work."  
The deaf boy went weak at the knees. If only he could hear his voice properly, he would have noticed how he articulated every vowel and consonant, almost serenading with each syllable. He caressed the name with his tongue before gracefully releasing it out into the airwaves.

"But if you must know. Hanschen."

Ernst couldn’t believe his luck. As he began to sketch Hanschen’s outlines, his head was buzzing with questions he could most probably never answer. Who was this boy? Where did he come from? Was he being rude to Ernst or was he just not kind-natured? Even when he was slightly slouching against the chair, he still looked so poised and...dare he say, perfect. Turning back once again to look at Hanschen, he was greeted by a sour expression.  
"Are you just not talking then?"  
His eyebrows were slightly raised and his face was twisted into slightly more of a frown than it was before.  
"Oh!" Ernst stared, wide eyed "Oh no! I really should’ve said before!" He brushed his forehead, wiping a grey mark across the top.  
"I’m hard of hearing. I can hear virtually nothing unless I’m looking at the source or am near it." He forced an awkward smile, awaiting the hearing boy’s response.  
“Well it’s lucky I learned sign, isn’t it?”He moved his hands quickly, raising one eyebrow. Ernst’s face lit up. No way.

Hanschen could’ve internally sighed. This boy really was almost stupid. The stereotypes were true then - artists are less intellectual than other, more academics. As an English major and studying philosophy on the side, everything seemed so black and white to him. But this boy was definitely something new. Like a breath of fresh air after you’ve been stuck inside for a while. Hanschen had offered to be here because why not waste a few hours of your time by letting someone else admire you to create something that was just as, if not more, beautiful than the object of admiration. It also gave him a few hours to himself, without his roommates pestering him about help for work or cooking.  
Now, this boy - Ernst - was something he had never come across in the campus. He was attractive, he wouldn’t deny that, but there was something that connected with Hanschen immediately. As if everything that he was not had been bundled into a smaller, dark haired, dare he say cute boy. And from the moment he sat on the chair, he knew he would make him his.

Two hours into the three hour session and Ernst had made pretty decent progress. The initial sketch was done, and he was on to the colors. He decided to go for cool colors, like blues and greys, that made the blonde’s hair stick out a lot more. Ernst, also thought it went with his mysterious personality, because he chose not to sign with the deaf boy, even after complaining about the lack of small talk. He still couldn’t decide if he was being rude or not. But Ernst, being the quiet, reserved boy he is, kept painting.  
Another hour passed, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hanschen twitch and sit up straight against the chair.  
“It’s the end of the class. I’ll be going now.” His face was still expressionless.  
“You will see me again. Don’t worry Ernst” His cool hand found its way towards Ernst’s face, cupping it gently around the chin, and stroking his cheek with his thumb before leaving the room. Ernst could not stop staring after him.

Hanschen had just about no idea what he had done to the boy. He knew for a fact he had at least intrigued him, that was his game. But now he had feelings...This was a whole new story.  
“Ilse. You do feelings and stupid things like that? How do I stop a crush.” He sighed as he walked into the studio apartment that the two shared, along with Moritz Steifel.  
“Who is it and when can I meet him/her/them.” She winked at him, and handed a warm mug of hot chocolate to him before jumping on the couch next to him,  
“No one, and never. I don’t do relationships.” She giggled at him.  
“I know. You love yourself too much.” She kissed him on the cheek before getting up to heat up some leftover noodles. Hanschen, for once, didn’t have a clever comeback. It wasn’t true. He didn’t love himself that much. Truth be told, he had never had a relationship as such. Just one night stands and friends with benefits. This feeling was entirely new to him.

  
Struggling to haul his huge art bag up the stairs to his tiny room was a daily occurrence for Ernst. All his roommates either stayed later or came home earlier, so no one could help him. That’s why he almost had a heart attack when he felt a small, delicate hand on his back.  
“Ernst? Do you need help?” Wendla Bergmann was possibly the kindest person he had ever met. She was deaf, so he decided to room together with all of her friends to feel less alone. They welcomed him with open arms, and he practically became one of them within the first week. She took the back end of the bag, and continued to walk up the stairs.  
“Melchi is having a big party tonight. We’re all going, and I thought you might want to come because we won’t be home tonight.” Ernst cringed. He hated parties. He got drunk too easily, could hardly hear the music, and combined with his anxiety, they were a no-no.  
“Oh come on, everyone will be there! Come, I’m picking your outfit!” He just sighed and followed her up the stairs and through the door. No one could say no to her.

Parties were almost the only time Ernst listened to music. He usually just tuned out the radio or he couldn’t hear it, but you can’t not hear music in a party, even if you’re partially deaf. At parties he usually realised why he didn’t listen to ‘top 40’ anymore. People stumbled around, fumbling the tops of bottles, even though Melchior only opened his doors an hour ago. He just stood awkwardly with a bottle of bitter tasting cider in his hand that Wendla had shoved at him before disappearing to find her man.  
People were kissing and groping each other right next to him, and he started to feel hot and sweaty, mostly due to the fact that he couldn’t see anyone he knew. He began to push through the mass of people to get to the back door, and just as the door was in sight, he collided with someone.  
“I’m....so sorry!”  
He managed to squeak the apology and carried on moving, head down, until the fresh air finally collided with his lungs, and he felt the cool night air wash over him. Taking in deep, slow breaths, he calmed down, closing his eyes and allowing a small smile to creep upon his lips.  
“I told you I’d see you again, Ernst Robel.”  
The voice was tenderly close to his ear, and he audibly jumped, squealing to come face to face with his company. He was met with those cool, piercing blue eyes and perfectly styled blonde hair, nestled on a deeply squared face and sharp cheekbones. After a few drinks, Ernst might have thought he was facing a real life god.  
“What brings you out here?” Hanschen gestures to the balcony with a glass of a mixed drink. He smelled like alcohol, but it wasn’t disgusting. It was a pleasant, fruity smell. Ernst just managed a nervous chuckle.  
“Not being in there, I guess.” He smiled nervously up at the blonde.  
“I see. I just thought you wanted a little me and you time.” Hanschen’s left eyebrow twitched as he looked down at Ernst, leaning into his face in for a...kiss?  
“Hanschen!” He pulled away.  
“I’m sorry, I just hardly know you!” The taller boy paused, seemingly confused before taking in a deep breath and sighing.  
“Fine. I’m Hanschen Rilow, 18 years old, my birthday is the 25th of September. I’m majoring in Greek literature and Philosophy, fluent in Greek, Latin, German and ASL. I live with Ilse Neumann. My favourite colour is blue. I listen to a range of music types. I am trained to grade 8 level of ballet, and I am really not fussy when it comes to drinks. Nice to meet you, Ernst Robel.” He held out his hand, and the other timidly took it and shook it.  
“Now may I kiss you?”


	2. Party

Three hours later, clothes littered the floor at Hanschen’s apartment. Ernst may have refused him the first kiss, but a few drinks and a long talk later, Ernst had gotten to know the other boy as much as he had the inside of his mouth. Hanschen’s kisses were otherworldly, he knew exactly what to do to the smaller boy to make him want more. Hanschen knew exactly what to say as well, because the boy who was usually shy and reserved had agreed to go back to the blonde boy’s room.

“I sense that you don’t like parties much” Hanschen signed above the ridiculously loud music coming from multiple speakers around Melchior’s incredibly expensive apartment. Ernst just shook his head in response ,and Hanschen grabbed his hand, expertly weaving in and out of the dense crowd to the front door.   
“My apartment is about five minutes away. Do I have to ask your permission to accompany me?” He smirked at the smaller boy, who just rolled his eyes and grabbed the others hand

“Lead the way”

Ernst knew that this was by far the most risqué and spontaneous thing he had ever done, but he felt a certain connection to the boy on the other end of his hand. Yes, he was slightly drunk but, he knew that this definitely was not a decision he would regret the next day. Hanschen had been on his mind since the moment he sat down to paint. This boy wasn’t like others. He was intriguing, different, and most of all, something new and maybe even amazing. 

They reached the front door with haste, and Hanschen pushed the key into the lock, opening the door. Without warning, he pushed the smaller boy up against the wall next to the door, his face inches away from the brunnette, and kicked the door shut with his foot.  
“Do I have to ask permission to do anything tonight?” His eyes squinted and his forehead rested upon Ernst’s. 

“Just kiss me.”

Hanschen obediently followed the instructions, closing the gap between the two forcefully, Ernst’s mouth welcoming his tongue. The blonde pulled his hands through Ernst’s soft brown hair, down his neck, across his chest and pushed themselves up underneath his shirt, letting him lift the other boy up and allowing Ernst to wrap his legs around the other’s torso. Ernst’s whole body was buzzing at the contact. He felt lost for breath ,but relaxed at the same time. Ernst’s body seemed as if it fit perfectly onto the blonde. After a while, the Hanschen moved on to Ernst neck, first just kissing under his chin, throat, and ears until he found that spot that made Ernst gasp with pure delight. He began to lick and suck the area, biting occasionally, causing Ernst to moan for the first time. His face went red and he covered his mouth with his hand.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Ernst. You’ll be screaming for me soon” 

Hanschen’s tongue played with the words dangerously close to his ear, nibbling the earlobe as he went down to the junction between his neck and shoulder, unbuttoning the buttons that stopped him from reaching it. His teeth latched onto the neck again, and Hanschen’s hands began unbuttoning more of Ernst’s shirt, pulling it off of him as quick as he could, smoothing his hands across every inch of exposed skin in front of him. This was all almost too much for the deaf boy, who started to breathe heavily, not holding back on the noises now. 

Hands found the back of his head, and Ernst was listed off of the wall and into a darkened room just next to where they had been. Hanschen practically threw his partner onto his king-sized bed, beginning to unbutton his own, very tight fitting shirt, not being bothered to unbutton the last two and just pulling it over his head to reveal a very toned chest that made Ernst’s jaw drop. This was the boy that asked him to sleep with him. How was that even possible? Hanschen stood for a second, admiring the boy as if he was a hungry predictor appreciating his food before going in for the kill. 

“It’s a shame, you’re damn so cute,” the words ran through the smaller boy’s body like a ripple of pure ecstasy.

“And I’m about to ruin you.” 

Ernst felt the blood run to his crotch, and Hanschen crawled onto the bed, supporting himself above the other body before pulling his hair up, exposing his kiss – bruised neck. The blonde straddled the boy as he began to kiss his neck, licking over the bruises and occasionally biting and nibbling the skin. He moved his kisses lower, to his shoulder, his chest, flicking his tongue out over Ernst’s nipple, causing the deaf boy’s breath to catch in his throat. He kissed further down, tracing his tongue along the vague line of his abdomen until he got to his hips, where the blonde planted sweet, small kisses on his navel. 

Ernst swallowed as he knew what was happening – he wouldn’t tell his partner this, but he had never given, or received a blow job. He closed his eyes, feeling Hanschen nip the skin on his hips, bruising him further, until the release of space in his crotch area told him that his fly had been undone. The blonde continued to suck on the skin, reaching his hand tentatively into the other’s underwear, stroking up his cock with two fingers, causing Ernst’s eyes to fly open, and release a gasp. 

Their eyes met, Hanschen looking through his eyelashes at the other and smiling ever so slightly, gently licking his lower stomach amongst an array of purple marks. He gently pulled down both barriers of fabric, releasing the member beneath him. The blonde just took in a short breath and took in the whole length, letting a loud, satisfying moan rip through Ernst’s throat, digging his nails into the bed sheets beneath him. His tongue swirled around the length, bringing his head back up, making sure to lick the head as he did so. The deaf boy couldn’t stop himself from yelling the blonde boy’s name and arching his back against the mattress. Hanschen just pushed his hips down, and began bobbing his head up and down, suckling and licking as Ernst released those delicious moans.

“Hanschen! Hanschen I’m going to...” 

“No, you aren’t. Not yet” He took his mouth off and began to unbutton his own fly.

“Can...can I?”

Ernst knelt up and began to fiddle with the belt and buttons, releasing the others cock after just a few seconds. The taller boy finished it off, taking the garments off fully and throwing them onto the floor where they were swallowed by the darkness. They both just knelt on the bed, staring at the face in front of them.

“Fuck it.”

And with that, Ernst closed the gap between their two kiss swollen lips, pulling Hanschen down on top of him by the back of his neck. Hands ran along every piece of exposed flesh before the blonde pulled away, reaching for a bottle on the nightstand.

“I just want to say that I knew you were at that party and planned to fuck you the moment I laid eyes on you.” Ernst just grinned.

“Then why wait”

He signed, and watched as the other boy pure some of the contents out onto his hand, rubbing it in slightly before pushing his soon-to-be lover onto the mattress, inserting one finger into him and pushing it back and forth, watching as the deaf boy’s face twisted into one of pure ecstasy. The blonde inserted another finger, curling them upwards in search of his prostate before grinning at the sound of the boy’s delicious moans.

Hanschen didn’t ask, he didn’t need to, he knew Ernst was ready when he pulled both fingers out, running them across the sheets beneath him, until the brunette pulled his head down into a rough kiss and uttered dirty words that he thought he was incapable of saying himself. Before he had time to take a breath, the long member was pushed inside him. They both waited for a few seconds before moving, waiting for Ernst to adjust to the new feeling before he pulled all the way out, just leaving in the top to tease him, only pushing back in when he whined hungry sounds at Hanschen.

“I told you I was going to ruin you. I think this is the perfect time.” 

He smirked, digging his nails into the pale hips and thrusting in and out roughly, causing Ernst’s whole body to tense up, uttering moan after moan, tears of pure pleasure welling up in his eyes as he left nail marks on the back of his lover. 

“Hanschen! Hanschen! I’m coming! I’m going to come!” He just gritted his teeth and uttered three words.

“No you’re not”

He swiftly pulled out, turning Ernst over onto his hands and knees, licking along his back and biting onto his already bruised shoulder. Ernst felt like he could just melt of pleasure at any moment, but was holding it back as much as he could as to be obedient to his commander. 

Hanschen pushed himself in from behind, pressing their two bodies together to reach the deaf boys ear and nibble on it. He began thrusting slowly, appreciating every sound Ernst made with each push back in. He kissed up the bruised and swollen back, raking his nails over it before reaching forwards to grasp the very same shoulders he had kissed and bitten throughout the night and pushed himself as deep as possible, finally letting himself go. Hanschen’s name ripped through the deaf boys throat. He kept slamming in, each shout getting louder and louder until Ernst was screaming his name.

“Hanschen! Please, Hanschen! Oh god, Hanschen!” He felt the muscles tighten around him, and thrust in one last time, causing the smaller boy to come, eyes watering with pure pleasure. Hanschen wasn’t far behind, pushing in one more time before he came inside of Ernst. He pulled out, allowing the boy to collapse on the bed from sheer exhaustion. His lover rolled over next to him, reaching on the bedside cabinet to get some tissues to tenderly mop up the mess of a boy beside him.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I Ernst ?” He reached out and touched his cheek, disturbing the small boy’s relaxed state.

“It was...quite something,” He grinned back at the blonde.   
“But I’m fine...If you can call severely bruised, bitten, scratched and sweaty ‘fine’” He giggled, bringing himself closer to Hanschen and snuggling himself against his chest. Hanschen felt something inside him. Maybe Ilse was right. The icy Hanschen Rilow was finally opening up to someone.


	3. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before *insert appropriate smiley*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far!! I hope you enjoy! Shoot me an ask about this @eldermcpricey on tumblr

The next morning, the two were tucked in to each other's warmth, almost like a real couple, until Hanschen woke up with his body clock and unpicked himself gently from the Web of Ernst’s fingers and limbs. He pulled on some joggers and put out a spare t shirt and joggers for Ernst when he woke up. Running his hands through his hair tiredly, he stepped into the living space where Moritz and Ilse were lying, cuddled up on the sofa watching some movie he could hardly give two shits about.

“Hanschen!” Ilse sang out his name, waving her hands at him.

“How was last night?” she grinned massively, signing to Moritz that “he had a boy round last night” Moritz just grinned at him and waited for a response.

“It was okay. Shut up about me” He scowled and threw some bacon onto the kitchen side, getting a frying pan out to cook it off. Ilse just rolled her eyes and gave Moritz the “it’s Hanschen, what did we expect” look, to which he just raised his eyebrows. He just let the bacon sizzle away for a few minutes before buttering some bread. Every time Ilse tried to question him, he just ignored her or signed “shut the fuck up” at her. That was, until, Ernst finally walked in. Ilse’s face just lit up and grinned, sinking back onto the sofa to give him some privacy.

“Good morning Ernst. I made bacon. Care to stay?” He raised his eyebrows and set the plate down at the table, looking him dead in the eye with no expression, as usual.

“I guess...I’m up to date on all my art so it wouldn’t hurt.” If Ernst wasn’t deaf, he would have heard the tiny squeal that came out of Ilse’s mouth. He sat down at the table and smiled up at Hanschen, which caused a jolt inside of his body. What the fuck is going on? He thought to himself. He’s just a boy. He just scowled at himself before sitting down. Ernst, who had a full mouth, was astounded at the taste. 

“Hanschen! This is delicious!”

“Yeah, it’s premium bacon. I only buy that stuff.”

“well it's amazing.” He grinned again “just like you.” And that was all that was needed to send him over the edge. He quickly realised the mistake he had made and slapped himself internally. He had fallen for the small, deaf artist.

Hanschen had only just about managed to get Ernst to leave the apartment with him in attempt to get him away from Ilse’s prying eyes.  
“You need a change of clothes. I’ll walk you” was about as smooth as he could get that morning. Dammit. This was really taking its toll on him. He was supposed to be the hot sex machine, not the doey-eyed, head-over-heels in love fool. About half way into the journey, Ernst’s hand brushed his, and the palms made contact, and he felt his fingers close and link with the other boy’s. His chest knotted as he felt the soft skin next to his again and refused to look at Ernst as they walked.

He felt like holding the taller boy’s hand was the best place to start. Ernst was still unsure on what they were at this point, bearing in mind that, even though they had slept together, he had only known Hanschen for just over a day. He high five himself when Hanschen didn’t untangle their fingers. Maybe he does like me? Maybe I should ask for a date? His inner monologue kept on going until they got to his apartment.

“It’s, uh, a few flights up here. My roommates might be in.” Hanschen just nodded and proceeded up the stairs. Shit. I can’t compete with this. I can’t even read his thoughts! 

He pushed the key into the lock and opened the door to Anna and Melitta’s heads pointed at the door.

“good morning! Had a good night?”

“Yeah. Decided to take the day off though” Anna laughed slightly and pointed at her head. 

“The others are still at Melchior’s though. It’s just us three for now” Thea poked her head up from off the sofa, grinning at Ernst. All three girl’s jaws dropped as the tall blonde boy finally decided to enter the flat.  
“who is this?” Anna signed at Ernst as to try and be discreet.

“Hanschen Rilow. I know sign.” An air of awkward silence fell upon the room for a few long seconds until Ernst finally spoke up to loudly tell Hanschen that he needed to change his clothes before grabbing his hand and pulling him into his room.

“Well they’re rude” Ernst just chuckled awkwardly.  
“They’ve just never seen me bring someone home” He began to root through his drawers for a black, long sleeved jumper and some jeans, sliding his old ones off before looking up at the other boy.

“You can sit down.” He chuckled and pointed to the end of the bed before continuing to slide the jeans on. Hanschen just sat down slowly, admiring the boy whilst he wasn’t looking. Okay. He was pretty attractive. No. Hot. But cute at the same time. He was nothing that he had ever seen in a person. Now his body understood his brain and it locked into predictor mode – Ernst was going to be his and only his. He stood up and stepped towards the boy when he had his back turned, making him jump when he turned around.

“Hanschen! You scared me! Are you –“ his sentence was cut off with a pair of soft, warm lips upon his own. His fingers found the back of the blonde head and pulled himself closer, deepening the kiss and opening his mouth to allow Hanschen’s tongue in. Even though it had only been a few hours ago that they slept together, it felt like an eternity since they had been this close. 

Hanschen’s fingers laced themselves through Ernst’s hair, messing it up and pushing his head closer to deepen the kiss before breaking it.

“I’ve got your phone here. My number is in it. I’m free tomorrow night. You are too, so we’re going out somewhere. Text me.” And with that, he left, letting himself out. A few seconds later, Ernst poked his head around his room door, hair messed up and hockey visible from last night’s adventures. 

“I think I’m in love.”


End file.
